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Thursday, February 26, 2015

What's the Difference? Blurb, Review, and Back Cover Copy?

A reader recently asked me to explain a few term that can be confusing. Knowing the difference might help you, as a reader, better discern whether a book is right for you.

Blurb, Review and Back Cover Copy

* In the book business, a "blurb" is a comment made by one author regarding the merits of a book by another author. These are always positive, and usually you try to match the blurber's audience to your intended audience. "Reviews" are written by reviewers, who may or may not be authors themselves, but who are disinterested parties who are weighing in. These are either negative or positive, although certainly you wouldn't share a negative comment on your book itself. "Back cover copy" is a teaser, a bit of a synopsis that will (we hope!) entice readers. Often the back cover copy is written by marketing interns at a publishing house. Several times, sad to say, I've had mine written by young folks who haven't even read the book in question. (Hard to believe, but true.) The purpose of the back cover copy is to give potential readers enough information so they can decide if the premise of the book sounds interesting, but not so much as to give away the whole plot. It's tricky.

 How Do You Get Them?

* I once overheard a bookseller telling a customer that authors pay for blurbs. That is not true! In fact, some blurbs are requested on behalf of a book by the publisher, who goes to another author in their "stable" of authors and asks for a blurb. Other times, we humble ourselves and ask friends if they'd blurb our books. This is tricky, since a refusal can mean the loss of a friendship.

*There are those in the industry known as "blurb sluts," people who will blurb any book by anyone to get their name in front of the public.

* Books are submitted for reviews, and of course, readers are now encouraged to submit reviews to Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, and other sites. There are now services that will review a book for money, and then leave it to the author/publisher whether to share that review. Amazing, huh?

* Also when writing a review, versus a blurb, the reviewer will often structure their reviews so that portions can be excerpted. The professionals are particularly good at this. I use the term "professional" to divide those who review regularly and have training  from those who are simply reacting to a book they've read. But please note, I am NOT disparaging of the reader who shares his/her opinion. I appreciate it! The fact that someone would take time to share means the world to me.

My friend said, "I must admit to being a little puzzled by the back cover copy (of your newest book)." 

* The cover copy is supposed to be a bit puzzling so that I encourage you to pick up the book.This is tricky business. I aim to tease you, but be transparent about the mood of the book. Therefore, I need to simplify the concept, and give you enough so you can make an informed decision, but not so much that you don't feel the urge to buy the book. 

* Certain genres have certain "conventions" when it comes to back cover copy. For example, cozies are full of puns. Thrillers are ripe with hyperbole. It's a way of signaling to the reader, "You've come to the right place."

I hope this helps you make better decisions about which books you want to read. Of course, you can judge a book by its cover--and its back cover, but I must admit, these are tricky sources of information. Now you know why!

Friday, February 20, 2015

Ten Things I Learned from Alice Zinn that Any Miniature Enthusiast Can Use -- Plus a Contest!


 By Joanna Campbell Slan

1.      Label all your storage containers. It makes locating items so much easier.
Win this basket by Alice Zinn. Go to Joanna's Facebook page for details. http://www.Facebook.com/JoannaCampbellSlan  and click on the GIVEAWAYS icon in bright blue under the BIG picture of Joanna.

2.      Use plastic storage containers. You never know when there will be water damage. Especially for those of us who live in Florida, this is a key. It should also cut down on the risk of mold.

3.      Surround yourself with things you love. Find unique ways to display them, as Alice did with her shelves above the doorframes.

4.      Collect fascinating containers. Many of Alice's most interesting scenes were inspired by boxes or containers that spoke to her, such as the kabuki theater that began "life" as a household shrine. She's stored more containers in her garage, where they wait for her magic touch to transform them into mini worlds.

5.      Stick to one scale at a time. That said, if you have an interesting collection in varying sizes, you might consider creating a "museum" in which to display these items. Think about it: In a real museum, you would see full-scale artifacts as well as models of the same. The sizes of the artifacts might vary, but that wouldn't be a problem because the setting around the items is always just one scale!

6.      Eschew miniature snobbery. Some of Alice's cutest pieces were found in non-traditional environments. For example, her Southwestern Storytellers were actually eraser-tips for pencils. Another storyteller doll was discovered in the gift shop section of a gas station. But taken together in a miniature Southwestern Museum, their origins don't matter one whit.

7.      Hoard cool stuff. (Like you needed permission? Seriously!) Alice found a tiny jukebox nightlight years ago. It will be a focal point in her "Piano Man" room.

8.      Embrace verisimilitude. Alice points out that real denim shrunk to the proper size for miniatures would be the same weight as silk on our bodies. And that wouldn't look right. The fabric wouldn't have enough heft. So the trick is to find the proper balance between "realistic" and "real."

9.      Fall in love and never give up. Alice couldn't afford Goebel's set of three tiny Alice in Wonderful figurines when she first saw them. Years went by, and she became a successful artist, so when presented with the chance to buy one of the figures, she did. More time passed, and she found the two remaining pieces of the set—and quickly snapped them up. Then when she was at a miniature show, a vendor was selling the empty case for the Goebel's collectibles. Voila! Now Alice has the set she originally wanted.

10.   Question everything. Rather than toss out packaging paper, the kind that has a lot of little slits in it, Alice saw the material as basketry. The tiny heart she made from a piece is truly a-ma-ZINNing!

Joanna Campbell Slan is the author of twenty-eight books, including three mystery series. She loves turning trash into treasure. She shares tutorials are on her blog http://www.joannaslan.blogspot.com You can follow her on Pinterest at http://www.pinterest.com/joannaslan

For a free sample of Joanna's work, send an email to her assistant, Sally Lippert at SALFL27@att.net and request the free copy of Ink, Red, Dead, one of Joanna's mysteries.

Visit Alice Zinn at her website http://www.AliceZinn.com or see her in person at the Tom Bishop Show. For info on the show, go to http://www.bishopshow.com/chiinfo.htm

CONTEST

Win a Zinn! You could win this basket by Alice Zinn. Just enter our contest.  If the link doesn't work, copy and paste this in your browser--

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day! (I'm Feeling the Love!)


Hi Joanna,
 
I just wanted you to know that I was so excited to find out my copy of Shotgun, Wedding, Bells was waiting for me on my kindle when I went to bed. I had to read "just a little bit." I am now starting chapter 45 and forcing myself to stop reading (it is after 1am) but man oh man that is a tough thing to do! The book is WONDERFUL! It is by far your best Kiki story ever! I know it is full of tragic circumstances, but I am totally spellbound and feel like I am in the room with Kiki. You ROCK Joanna! Fantastic job. I will have to wait to finish it in the morning, but I couldn't wait to tell you how great it is and thank you for writing it. Big hug to you! Happy Valentine's day to a fantastic author and someone who feels like a friend. I can't wait to finish the book!
 
XOXO,
 
Barbara Hackel

 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

An A -ma-ZINNing Afternoon with Alice Zinn


By Joanna Campbell Slan

At first blush, Alice Zinn's home looks like all the other houses in her neighborhood. The building is pleasant, on a pretty corner lot in a small city in Florida. However, when she opens the door and permits you entrance, you feel like you've fallen down a rabbit hole into an enchanted universe where fairytales and wishes come to life in miniature.

Because she knew I was interested in her workspace, Alice took me on a quick tour of her shop before we had the lunch she so kindly prepared. The converted garage is packed with supplies, as you might imagine, but most importantly, everything is labeled. Alice can put her hands on things quickly. I stood there and turned a tight circle at the stacks of plastic storage tubs that lined the walls and towered over my head. Her computer is at a right angle to the desk where she works, and therefore, perfectly situated for convenience. Although she enjoys working from the comfort of a big cushy office chair, because her work space is so large, she also makes use of a backless stool on rollers so she can scoot along the corridor in her warehouse of supplies.

When you meet Alice, you are immediately struck by her active, seeking mind. Her breadth of knowledge about the world in general is amazing. Her process is one of problem-solving. The pneumatic stool is an example. Its height is easily adjustable, and there's a tray on the bottom so the stool can actually be used to transport items. Really, it's perfect. I found myself coveting this handy seat. Alice laughed and said, "Stop by Harbor Freight. It's on your way home." I did and bought one for myself, a bargain at $26.

Walking from the workroom into the house, I paused to gawk at the shelving over the top of the doorsills. Alice set cove molding a ninety-five degree angle, turning the wood slats into narrow shelves. On these she's displayed miniature chairs in all sorts of furniture styles. There's also a cabinet full of gifts, including a china collie given to Alice by her grandmother. Alice was eight at the time and suffering from chickenpox. Young Alice was bothered by the fact that the dog didn't have fur, which made the piece more like a statue than a miniature pet. Many years later, when Alice decided to make miniature animals for a living, she set herself the task of making them furry, because no one else was doing so at the time.

We passed Alice's bathroom, and oh, my! A person could get lost in there. She's packed the place with tiny scenes, including a shadowbox of Teddy Bears, which houses another childhood favorite of hers. There's also a small nautical scene on the back of the toilet. "Guests go to the restroom and take forever," said Alice. "They get so involved with the minis."

As I wandered around Alice's home, it was delightful to pause and admire all the minis, including one particular castle, a showcase for Alice's sense of humor. The piece is called "Fear of Flying." It depicts a wizard teaching a young dragon to spread his wings.

"Dis-embarking"  *  Photo courtesy of Alice Zinn.
Nearby is a large Japanese house with a most unusual provenance. It was built post-WWII by a Japanese architect who wanted Westerners to see what a typical Japanese home was like. Alice's iconic Noah's Ark scene—"Dis-embARKing"—took my breath away, as I challenged myself to find as many of the 54 pairs of animals as I could. This is harder than it sounds, since tiny creatures scamper their way up the trees and hide in the leaves. The faces on her tigers are truly exquisite.

Her Amish barn scene shows off Alice's commitment to being tech-savvy. To produce two tiny saws and a wagon wheel, she turned to a "plotter," a "Wishblade" by Xyron. This machine allows Alice the freedom to design whatever she wants and let the machine cut it out for her.

A scene with Calpurnia and Caesar, emperor of Rome, delights the viewer, as it is easy to imagine these tiny people come to life. Their costuming is exquisite, right down to the way that Calpurnia's gown is carried over her forearm. The hair on Calpurnia is stunning, her tiny curls arranged perfectly in a noble style.

It is hard to believe that Alice designs the settings, curates and creates the furnishings, and creates the dolls as well. This speaks to the multiplicity of her talents.

Joanna Campbell Slan holding the "piano man" and the "bartender" by Alice Zinn.
In another room, Alice has the "Piano Man" scene she's busy creating for the Tom Bishop Show that will be held in Chicago, April 17-19, 2015. The dolls have already been created, although they have not yet been dressed. Currently, Alice is toying with the placement of the various elements that will bring the Tropical-style bar to life. We discussed where she might place a tiny gift shop, a cute way to display more tropical minis as part of this setting.

When assembling a "museum" scene that depicts various cultures, Alice likes to include a miniature house. These "minis within minis" serve as Alice's nod to the industry and a wink to her audience. They serve as a vivid reminder of the pervasiveness of miniatures through all cultures in all eras.

I left Alice's workshop with my head spinning. In fact, I went into a sort of "craft-induced" mental fugue state. Creativity begets creativity. Watching Alice decide what to place where in her "Piano Man" setting, see all the fantastic scenes she's already made, soaking up tidbits about her process, and thinking of how to apply all this to my own life nearly overwhelmed me. It occurred to me as I climbed into my car that I'd just attended a Master Class in miniatures from a Master of the Craft.

< > < > < >

 
Coming soon--"Ten Things I Learned from Miniaturist Alice Zinn That Any Miniature Enthusiast Can Use"
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Joanna Campbell Slan is the author of twenty-eight books, including three mystery series. She loves turning trash into treasure. She shares tutorials on her blog http://www.joannaslan.blogspot.com You can follow her on Pinterest at http://www.pinterest.com/joannaslan

For a free sample of Joanna's work, send an email to her assistant, Sally Lippert at SALFL27@att.net and request the free copy of Ink, Red, Dead, one of Joanna's mysteries.

Visit Alice Zinn at her website http://www.AliceZinn.com or see her in person at the Tom Bishop Show. For info on the show, go to http://www.bishopshow.com/chiinfo.htm

Monday, February 9, 2015

Crafts to Do When the Weather Outside Is Frightful



By Joanna Campbell Slan

Snow, snow, snow. The weather report sounds like a broken record. As I write this, the Boston area is bracing for yet another blizzard-like blast, adding more flakes to the growing mountains of white fluff.
Even though I now live in Florida, I remember those winter days "up yonder" when we could get out the front door because the snow was piled up high.  I can still hear the sound of a snow shovel scraping the concrete of our walk. My nose prickles to the smell of the diesel fumes that wafted over the neighborhood as husbands vroom-vroomed from behind their snow blowers. And I'll never forget how my son would send up a cheer at the words, "Snow day!" Meanwhile, I would groan, wondering, "How am I going to keep him busy?"
So I used these memories in my newest book—Shotgun, Wedding, Bells—to create a scene where Kiki Lowenstein's children are going stir-crazy, thanks to days of inclement weather. Because Kiki has a criminal to track down, her good friend Laurel helps out by babysitting Anya Lowenstein (age 13) and Erik Detweiler (age 5). Laurel is a kid at heart, so she comes up with these terrific ideas for indoor fun:

1.      Snow candy – You need good, clean snow for this. So the badder the weather, the gooder the treat! Scoop up enough to fill a cake pan. Stir together ¼ C. butter to 1 C. maple syrup in a sturdy pot. Bring to a boil, watching constantly. (This is a job for grown-ups, of course!) After it bubbles for six minutes, pour it over the snow. The candy will harden. Once it is cool, break it into pieces and enjoy. Alternately, you can use ½ C. honey and ¼ C. brown sugar for your mix.
 
2.      Newspaper sailboats – Grab some newspapers out of your recycling bin. Or grab some paper out of your printer. I could explain it, but instead, go here http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Paper-Boat and follow the directions! Now fill a bath tub with warm water and sail your boat.
 
3.      Fashion show – Throw open your closet doors and invite the kids to play dress up. Be sure to take lots and lots of photos.
4. Catalog memory album -- If you're like Kiki, you get a zillion mail order catalogs every week. Since the US Postal Service will keep delivering, no matter what the weather deals us, here's a jiffy way to have fun with those catalogs. (You can also use a magazine in a pinch.) Start with one that isn't too thick, preferably one with a staple holding in the pages. Glue pages together in sets of two or three to make stronger, less flexible pages. Now cover the pages with scrapbook paper--and use those pages as the base for your layouts! This is perfect for kids because there's a lot of activity, but it doesn't need to be precise. They can use a glue stick to add photos, words, or even images they like.
5. Pistachio nut boats (miniatures) -- Going nuts? Why not put those shells to good use? You'll need shells, paper, toothpicks, glue, scissors, markers, acrylic paint and a brush, and buttons. Begin by painting the outside of your boat. (Tip: Tape a piece of masking tape sticky side up to your work surface to hold the shells down.) Now snap your toothpicks in half and paint them. While those pieces are drying, work on your sails. Snip off a corner of your piece of paper so that you have a triangle about 3/4 inch on the longest side--this will be your sail. (Play with these! They should vary according to the size of your empty shell.) Use your markers to add stripes to the sail. Glue the long edge of your sail to your toothpick. Glue the toothpick to the hull of your boat (the painted shell), and finally glue the sailboat to a button or a small piece of balsa wood.
 
6.   Curl up and read as a family -- Your children will be more likely to read if they see you doing it! Need a good book? Send an email to my assistant Sally Lippert at SALFL27@att.net and she'll "gift" you a copy of Ink, Red, Dead for your e-reader.
7.   Plan for better weather--or more of the same! I suggest you pre-order a copy of Shotgun, Wedding, Bells, so you have something fun to look forward to. When the book is released on Valentine's Day, you'll get a special treat—along with this e-book comes a second e-book, your free copy of Tear Down and Die (the first book in my new Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series with 48 five-star reviews on Amazon). 
 Meanwhile, stay safe and stay warm!
Your friend,
Joanna
 
PS Just in case the link to Shotgun, Wedding, Bells doesn't work, try this:

Thursday, January 29, 2015

An Excerpt from Shotgun, Wedding, Bells



(Book #11 in the Kiki Lowenstein Mystery Series)

By

Joanna Campbell Slan

 

Chapter 1

 

Our wedding day dawned like a scene from a fairy tale. Frozen rain coated the freshly fallen snow. The glassy surface glistened like a million tiny diamonds. Icicles hanging from the eaves of our house formed natural prisms, casting rainbows across the blanket of white. Sunlight transformed the long dead banks of mums into mounds, like glittering pillows under a white duvet. The scene before us was beautiful, but treacherously slick. This overnight winter storm had paralyzed travel throughout the St. Louis area. All the salt and sand we’d tossed down on the walkways hadn’t done much good.

Our friend Detective Stan Hadcho guided me along the flagstones, by means of a good grip on my elbow. He escorted me from the back door of our house to the gazebo. As we walked, Leighton Haversham, our former landlord and dear friend, snapped photos so I could make a memory album. That’s what I do. I'm a scrapbooker and owner of a store called Time in a Bottle.

At the stairs to the gazebo, I stared up into the smiling faces of the people so dear to me: my newly adopted son, Erik; my daughter, Anya; Erik’s aunt, Lorraine Lauber; our nanny, Bronwyn Macavity; my fiancé, Detective Chandler Louis Detweiler; and of course, our animal friends, my dog Gracie and Lorraine’s dog Paolo. They’d all stood there patiently in the cold, waiting for me to arrive. Detweiler reached down to take my gloved hand so I could step up and join him. His eyes were warm with emotion, and his gaze was steady. Moist clouds of exhalations floated around all our faces, forming gossamer veils of moisture. As we turned to face Lorraine, who would be conducting the ceremony, Detweiler wrapped an arm around my waist.

Correction: A small portion of my waist.

At eight-and-a-half months pregnant, I’m the size of the Goodyear Blimp. Or at least that’s how it feels.

But Detweiler loves me. I’m carrying our baby, and our other two children are happy and healthy. Even though the overnight storm was keeping much of our extended family from joining us today, our wedding would be a joyous event.

Detweiler’s shoulder brushing up against mine, so strong and solid, augured a good start to the rest of our lives. We stood side-by-side, exactly the way we intended to go through life, as friends and lovers.

          "Not too bad for a wedding thrown together in forty-eight hours," he whispered in my ear as Lorraine (aka “Aunt Lori”) opened her prayer book. There was a chuckle in his voice.

I tried not to giggle. Although I have been dreaming about marrying Detweiler ever since I met him nearly three years ago, this day was a long time coming. Even though I kept telling myself that a ceremony was only a formality, deep down I really wanted to wear a wedding band again—as long as it was his! The legalities of our relationship might not matter much to Detweiler and me, but they could matter terribly to our two kids and to the baby who was kicking imaginary field goals inside me. I’d learned the hard way that the legal system can be your best friend and your worst enemy.

          Initially I'd planned for us to get married in the gap between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Detweiler and I had even talked about flying our whole family to Las Vegas and visiting the wedding chapel inside a Denny’s. The kids would have loved that combination, wedding bells and pancakes. But my friend Clancy Whitehead reminded me, "You're eight months along. They don't allow women that pregnant on a plane."

          Oops.

          Who knew?

          So I'd tabled that project, and made a notation on my calendar to revisit our wedding plans after December 25th. I would have hurried through the holiday season and put the idea out of my head, except for something unsettling that happened to my son.

          My sisters, Amanda and Catherine, had asked if they could spend a Saturday baking cookies with my kids. Of course, I said yes. Anya and Erik were delighted. From the big smiles on their faces, they’d had a wonderful time.

“Look, Mama Kiki,” said Erik, as he offered up a small shopping bag. Inside were two shoeboxes and two Pringles cans filled with yummy treats.

“I’ve got one too.” Anya grinned at me. “We’ll have plenty to share with Aunt Lori and Leighton.”  After thanking my sisters profusely, I hustled my children out to the car.

          My mouth began to water as we were pulling away from the curb of the rental house my sisters share with my mother. The car’s interior smelled wonderfully of butter, sugar, and vanilla. Now and then, I caught a whiff of cinnamon.

Sometimes playing chauffeur is a drag, but there’s an undeniable magic that happens when you’re looking out the front window and your children are in the back seat. Remember Arthur Godfrey? How he said that kids say the darnedest things? Something about car rides encourages that. Especially longish car rides.

We were merging onto the heavy traffic on Highway 40 when Erik explained to me that because Detweiler and I weren't married, our new baby would be a "littermate."

          "A littermate?" I adjusted my rearview mirror so I could look at him. My son’s solemn face stared back at me. His chocolate brown eyes, his mocha-colored skin, and his red hair testified to his biracial heritage. He might not be the child of my womb, but he's certainly the child of my heart. From the moment I set eyes on him, I fell in love with that little boy.

          "A littermate? I don't understand what you mean, sweetie.”

          Anya rolled her eyes and explained, "He means i-l-l-e-g-i-t-i-m-a-t-e."

          It took me a while to put those letters into a word. When I did, I nearly drove off the road. "Uh, Erik, honey? Who was talking to you about the baby being a ...littermate?"

          "Grandma Collins," he said.

          My mother. That paragon of parenthood.

          I gritted my teeth. “That figures.” Although she didn’t know it, my Mom had just moved one step closer to an apartment in assisted living. Mom didn’t know it, but the rental house was going up for sale. My sisters and I had several meetings, trying to decide how to cope with our aging parent. In the end, we decided to wait until after the holidays were over.

          Calling my child "illegitimate" marked a new low, even for her.

          I told myself to shrug it off. To consider the source. But Anya turned her denim blue eyes on me and said, "She's right, Mom."

          "Don't worry," I said. "Detweiler and I still have plenty of time to tie the knot."

          Two hours later, the contractions started.
 
<< To Be Continued >>
 
Pre-order Your Copy Today!
 
 

 

Thursday, January 8, 2015

A Year of Daring Greatly Starts Now!


I’ve been reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and as a result, I’ve decided to dedicate this year to reaching out to other people. That means putting myself in a vulnerable position, because they might “shut me down” or reject me. It involves taking a risk, doesn’t it? That’s exactly what Brown means by “daring greatly.”
Well, so far, the venture has been worthwhile. On a whim, I emailed Alice Zinn, a renowned miniature artist, who lives just up the road, and invited her to lunch. 

I’ll let Alice tell you what happened next: I did a little research on Joanna, including getting in touch with my pal author Camille Minichino. (Margaret Grace to those of us who read her "M" in Miniature murder mystery series.) Camille assured me I would have a good time.

We agreed to meet at Riverwalk Café in Stuart, because it’s halfway between us. Right as I pulled up in a parking space and opened my door, a lady two cars over sang out, “Are you Joanna?”

And so I met the lovely and vivacious Alice. From then on, we could hardly keep up with each other. We had so much to share. Not only does she know Camille, but she’s also a friend to Chris Verstraete (http://candidcanine.blogspot.com/). And of course, she’s familiar with Fay Zerbolio, the curator of the Miniature Museum of Greater St. Louis. When it comes to mystery writers and to miniaturists, it’s a small world—pun intended.

Here’s Alice’s take on our meeting: We had a lovely two-hour lunch and visit. Joanna knows the owner, Pam, who came by to say hi. I don't think there was a moment of silence!

When Alice asked if I brought any photos of my work, I considered lying. After all, showing my work to a real, live artist seemed pretty silly. Okay, that would certainly be taking a risk, but why not? She knows I’m just a hobbyist. So I went to the camera roll on my phone.

Alice says: Although she had several pictures I liked, there was one piece I really LOVED, a fireplace that looks like a gargoyle’s mouth!



On our way back to our cars, we talked non-stop, but we did pause to admire a Schnoodle (a designer dog, Schnauzer and Poodle mix). I showed Alice a photo of Jax, and she gave me a business card printed with images of her miniature dogs. One of them looks a lot like my pup! (Guess what I want next? An Alice Zinn original of Jax. Wouldn’t that look splendid in one of my mini-homes?)

Alice says: I think the most fascinating parts of our conversation, however, had to do with the similarities of our professions, working in a solitary environment, and what fame on a (no pun intended) small scale is like. We talked about being a self-starter, and she was so sweet about understanding that I'd had to carve out some time for this meeting just a week before I'm doing a show. There was a lot of talk about various forms of creativity, and the differences between doing something creative as a job as opposed to a hobby.

So this week my Daring Greatly gamble was a success. I’ll let you know what happens as I continue to “stick my neck out!”

All best from your friend,


Joanna

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Kiki Lowenstein and the Penny Pincher



By Joanna Campbell Slan



Editor’s Note: The Kiki Lowenstein Mystery Series features a scrapbooking mom whose creativity isn’t limited to papercrafts. 

Author's Note: In the timeline of Kiki's life this comes right before Handmade, Holiday, Homicide (Book #10)


“I saw this online and bought it for the store. I thought it appropriate,” said my friend Clancy Whitehead, as she handed me a wrapped present. In her tailored brown slacks, ivory silk blouse, and camel-colored cardigan, Clancy was the picture of elegance.
Meanwhile, I’m still wearing my maternity pants with the elastic panels. Although I tell myself that eventually the weight will come off, it’ll probably take forever. It seems like I've been pregnant forever, and frankly I’m feeling a little down. That’s probably one reason that Clancy bought me a gift.
My low mood is silly, because I have so much to be thankful for. My name is Kiki Lowenstein, and I own Time in a Bottle, a scrapbooking and crafts store in St. Louis. I’m the mother of two adorable kids and one on the way. In fact, I’m due the second week in January. My other half is a hunky cop, Detective Chad Detweiler. He’s unofficially my fiancé. We plan to get married, as soon as we can find the time.
Life is good, mainly. I was fifteen years younger the last time I was expecting, and I wasn’t working full-time, so to say life is “hectic” is an understatement.
Tonight starts the first of our Double-Dip Classes. Like the old Doublemint Gum commercials, we’re offering not one but two fantastic learning experiences. I’m excited about the projects I have planned for our scrapbookers. But I’m also a tad worried, because Iona Lippman has signed up for both classes. She can be a bit rough around the edges.
“Go on,” prompted Clancy. “Open the gift.”
After my fingers carefully pried apart the pink polka dot tissue paper, I discovered an adorable sign nestled inside: “All our guests please us. Some by their coming, and some by their going.”
“Iona is definitely a ‘goer,’” said Clancy. “You can’t please her, Kiki. She’ll always find something to complain about. That’s who she is. So just relax about the classes tonight and try to have fun. Don’t let her ruin the evening.”
“Thank you,” I told my friend, “for everything.”
Clancy being Clancy, she gave me a self-satisfied smile. She’s not much of a touchy-feely person, but she’s a wonderful friend.
“You’ve got all your prep done?” she asked. “Anything I can do?”
“I’m fine. First we’re doing the Keepsake Recipe Album. The assignment was for each scrapbooker to bring in a recipe that her family enjoys. A main dish. She should also have a photo of the food. Of course, if that’s not possible, we’ll work with just the recipe and leave a place on the scrapbook page for the photo. I assume all of them have been in to choose their albums?”
“Yes. Iona came in Friday. She doesn’t like the 8- by 8-inch size. She also didn’t like the color of the album cover.” Clancy pulled up a chair across from my big desk. Resting her face on her hands, she shrugged. “I told her you might have suggestions for customizing the cover.”
“I do.”
“What’s the second class?” asked Clancy.
“It’s called Tips from Interior Designers,” I said, withdrawing my handout from the bottom desk drawer. “Many interior designers use a 60-30-10 rule when working with colors. The dominant shade should cover 60 percent of the page, then two other colors would be 30 and 10 percent. I’m also showing the scrapbookers how they can ‘translate’ a photo of an interior design into a scrapbook page layout.”
“Fascinating idea,” said Clancy. “I’m glad I’m staying for the evening.”
“I am too.”
As it happened, Clancy was a lifesaver. Two hours later, after listening to Iona complain non-stop about her album, I was happy to have someone there to keep me from throttling the woman. Iona started complaining the minute she crossed our threshold. As far as I could tell, she didn’t even pause to take a breath.
“Not only do I hate everything about this album. I don’t want a recipe book full of main courses. My specialty is dessert.” She pushed my sample album off to one side, as she pouted at me.
I gritted my teeth. “Good. Since Christmas isn't that far away, your assignment is to bring your favorite dessert and its recipe.”
“I’ll bring my Red Velvet Cake,” said Lisa Ferguson.
“No way!” shouted Iona. “I have my great-great-grandmother’s special Red Velvet Cake recipe. It’s been passed down from the oldest daughter to oldest daughter. No one outside the family has ever seen it.”
“Whoa!” I spread my hands in what I hope was a placating gesture. “You can both bring your red velvet recipes. Since these are your personal cookbooks, duplication won’t be a problem.”
“There won’t be any duplication,” sniffed Iona, as she tugged her sleeves over her hands. Her fingers were chaffed and red from the cold. “My family recipe is simply the best. It’s never been copied. Not even close.”
“Suit yourself,” said Lisa, as she adjusted her cowl neck sweater. The weather had been unseasonably bitter. Most of my customers wore boots and gloves. Lisa was no exception. She’d arrived bundled up in a parka.
By contrast, Iona had worn a lightweight wool coat and kept her bare hands shoved deeply into her pockets. I guess she had her anger to keep her warm.
The two women couldn’t have been more different. Iona bragged about every aspect of her life from her husband’s upcoming retirement plans to her own free time for crafting. Lisa had said nearly nothing. Iona was in her mid-sixties, and Lisa couldn’t have been more than thirty. Probably in her mid-twenties. While Iona had lots of free time, I knew Lisa came to our sessions straight from work, and she kept checking the time because her babysitter had to leave promptly at nine.
Usually the age difference is helpful in my classes. Like in the quilting bees of old, women bond and share their experiences. The older generation guides the younger, while the younger imparts an energy and hopefulness that my seniors often have forgotten.
But not this time, and not this group. The age difference only seemed to cause more friction.
“Now that we have the matter of next week’s recipes settled,” I said, “Let’s turn our attention to Part Two of our Double-Dip. If you’d open your page kits, you’ll see I’ve already chosen your embellishments and paper for this cute scrapbook page. Clancy is passing around a copy of HGTV Magazine with a picture of the room that inspired this page.”
“That does it,” snarled Iona. “Kiki, every layout you do involves expensive embellishments.”
“She’s right,” added another customer, Avery Ailes. “I love scrapbooking but, gosh, it’s so expensive. I’ve priced these embellishments. They aren’t cheap.”
Clancy shot me a look over the heads of our customers. I could read my friend’s thoughts as easily as if she’d spoken to me: “Great…now what?”

**
One week later…

"How's Erik doing?" asked my friend Clancy, as she handed me the supplies for the second of our Double-Dip Classes.
"He still misses his mother and father, but he’s looking forward to Christmas.”
Back in August, Detweiler and I were shocked to get a message that he had a son living in California. Later we learned that his first wife had been pregnant when she ran off and left him. But the boy wasn’t Detweiler’s natural son. Instead, Erik was the child of an affair between his first wife, Gina, and one of Detweiler’s co-workers.
That said, Gina had left specific instructions in her will that if anything happened to her and her second husband, Van Lauber, that she wanted Detweiler to take her child, Erik, home to live with him. Because Detweiler and Gina were still legally married when she gave birth to Erik—and because she put Detweiler’s name on the birth certificate—Erik was legally Detweiler’s child, even though the boy was biracial and not Detweiler's biological son.
One look at Erik and Detweiler had fallen hopelessly in love with the child. I felt the same. Now we were doing our best to help the little guy get through the grieving process, since he’d lost both his mother, Gina, and his stepfather, Van, in a fatal car accident.
“Erik’s such a cutie pie.” Clancy broke open packages of supplies. “He and Anya getting along?”
My daughter had been an only child of thirteen when she learned that she would become the big sister to not one, but two boys. In fact, she'd been with me when a sonogram confirmed the baby I was carrying was a boy.
“So far so good. I think she likes being in charge. She gets that from her grandmother, Sheila.”
My job was to put the pieces in a plastic baggy and slap on our new store label. I was particularly proud of the image—a glass jar filled with watches and the words "Time in a Bottle"—because I'd created the logo myself. Since the watches were every color in the rainbow, the logo went with everything! That was important because we had customers who loved bright colors, those who favored pastels, and some who liked neutrals.
Yes, every guest who walked through our doors was unique in every way, except for one: They all loved saving memories. It was our job to help them do just that.
"No sibling rivalry?" Clancy raised an eyebrow.
"They're adjusting. Erik has bad dreams, as you might imagine. Anya came up with a dream catcher and hung it over his bed. I have no idea where she got it. Must have ordered it online.”
“Is it working?”
“Seems to be.”
"She's a smart kid," said Clancy, as she cast an eye at our big black clock. "T-minus ten minutes and counting."
As usual, Clancy was dressed as if she stepped out of a Talbot's catalog. Tonight she was wearing a pink knit top and gray pants. I wondered how long it would take me to get back into “real” clothes.
"I think the women will like the layout I created for the dessert page in their cookbook albums, but the second portion of the evening is bound to be more challenging." Iona and Avery Ailes had complained about the high cost of scrapbook layouts. They had dared me to come up with thrifty ways to create and embellish their pages. I'd been working feverishly all week to do just that.
I crossed my fingers that the two women would like what I'd done. Just then, the door minder rang. In walked Iona, dragging her Cropper Hopper behind her.
"Showtime," said Clancy.
One session down and one to go. I had managed to keep Iona and Lisa from duking it out over the Red Velvet Cake. Iona's cake really was better. The hints of buttermilk and vanilla were scrumptious. She glowed with pride as we devoured our slices. Lisa said very little as she went to work diligently on her cookbook page. Maybe her feelings were hurt.
Time to move on.
"One of the quickest, easiest and cheapest ways to save money on any scrapbook layout is to make your own embellishments. I'm going to share a few new ideas for raw materials around your house that you can turn into embellishments. Are you ready?"
The women nodded at me with their pens poised to take notes.
"Hang tags from purchases—these I cover with paper or paint with acrylics before adding stickers or stamping on them. Labels from cans—these can be scanned or used as is. Greeting cards—I carefully cut around the images. Sometimes I use Diamond Glaze and a little glitter to spice them up. Old children's books—the images in these are adorable. Use 'as is' or add Diamond Glaze. Pages from old books—either use these as background paper or cut them into the shapes. They also make great flowers! Fabric—glue it or sew it directly to your paper. Scan or photocopy a design you like. Bottle caps—use them flat side down or flat side up. Either way you can add letter stickers. I've also colored them and used them in a row as a border of dots. Styrofoam trays—wash them, dry them, cut them into shapes, and paint them with acrylics. Gift wrap—can be used as background paper or you can select a special image and cut it out. Packaging—I reused the package of the perfume I got for Christmas. I flattened it and cut it into circles for embellishments."
At that point I paused. "Any questions?"
"And if we don't have access to a copier or a computer," asked Avery. "Then what do we do?"
"Use the tape transfer method. Rub packing tape over the image. Soak the image in warm water. Peel away the paper. Ta-da!"
But my excitement proved short-lived because Iona shrieked, "Who took my Red Velvet Cake recipe? It's missing! Who took it? Someone stole it from me!"
"Calm down," I said, making placating motions with my hands. "It has to be around here somewhere, Iona. You know how things get covered up by papers. Or they get swept off the table inadvertently. Let's not go accusing anyone of mischief."
With that bold pronouncement of my faith in human beings, and scrapbookers in particular, I put myself in a ticklish spot. The burden of finding her recipe card now rested squarely on my shoulders.
For the next thirty minutes, we tore the class area apart. All of the classmates participated in the treasure hunt. We went through piles of paper, one sheet at time. We looked in the copier. We opened the paper bags I had taped to each cropper's work space. I even got down on my hands and knees and crawled around on the floor. When the recipe card didn't show up, I expanded our search area. When I bought Time in a Bottle, we didn't have enough space for our classes. The display shelves took up all the available room. To make enough space for our sessions, I'd put those same display shelves on wheels so they could be rolled to one side. Now, I rolled the shelves this way and that, scouring the store for the missing 3- by 5-inch card.
"You don't understand," said Iona, with a hitch in her voice. "That recipe has been in my family for generations. We've passed it down from mother to daughter. I can't go home without it. I just can't!"
She started howling with misery, while her friend Avery Ailes patted her consolingly on the shoulder.
Clancy sidled over to me and whispered in my ear, "You can’t win. You realize that, don't you? If you search each of our customers for the card, you're admitting someone probably took it. If you don't, you're letting someone walk away with Iona's recipe. Either way, people are going to be mad at you. They'll talk about this, and they'll take it out on the store."
My friend was right. And I had no idea what to do next.
"How about if I share a few thrifty ideas for albums?" I said, in an overly perky voice. "Let's give ourselves time to think. Maybe the recipe will show up. In fact, I'll even offer a sweetener. The person who finds the recipe will get a $50 gift certificate to the store."
Yes, it was a lot of money, but I was desperate to save my store's reputation. The potential bribe worked. The women all took their seats and listened intently.
"We all know how expensive albums can be," I said. "And normally I'd be the last person discouraging you from buying a pricey album to showcase your prized family photos."
At that, my customers chuckled.
The sound relaxed me just a little, and I continued, "Sometimes you aren't scrapbooking to create an heirloom. In the immortal words of that wise woman Cyndi Lauper, 'Girls just want to have fun,' right? Having fun doesn't necessarily mean you need an expensive binder for your layouts.”
"There are a lot of other ways you can collect and display your photos.” I described and displayed many examples. “A child's board book—use sandpaper to scuff up the shiny pages. That'll make gluing new paper over them much easier. Catalogs and magazines—glue together four or five thin pages, cover these with nice paper, and decorate them. Paper bags—stack four lunch bags on top of each other, alternating the open side. Fold them in half. Open them up to reveal the fold line. Stitch them together at the fold line. Fabric—Cut pieces of pre-washed cotton fabric in a 12- by 12-inch size or larger. Stack them and sew them together down one of the edges. Cover that edge with bias binding. Glue your photos directly onto the material. Toilet paper roll cones—flatten them, stack them, and punch holes in one of the short ends. Thread them together with ribbon or a metal ring clip. Each cone can act as a page or a pocket. Ring binders—buy a package of 8- by 11-inch page protectors and treat the ring binders like you would any other album. Drink coasters—punch a hole in them and attach them to each other pearl necklace-style with twine, or ribbon or metal rings. Either cover the coasters with paper or paint them with gesso."
I paused to see how my ideas were going over. My customers were frantically taking notes. The samples I'd put together were being examined with great enthusiasm. Maybe the entire evening wasn't going to be a bust after all.
But how was I going to find that missing recipe? Right then, the front door swung open.
"Don't look now, but the cavalry has finally arrived," said Clancy, and in walked my fiancé, Detective Chad Detweiler.
The scrapbookers seemed willing, so we took a break. As they got up from their chairs, I noticed that Lisa Ferguson hesitated.
Could she be hiding something? 
But that didn't make sense.
She had her own Red Velvet Cake recipe. Why would she take Iona's?
While the women crowded around the food table, I motioned my husband over to Lisa's things. 
Trying to act casual, I said, "We've been working on a recipe album. Lisa? You don't mind if I show Detweiler yours, do you?"
She froze like a deer when your headlights hit it.
"Uh…no." Her words didn't match her body language.
I opened the album and went through it page by page. When I got to the Red Velvet Cake recipe, I withdrew it and studied it. That's when I realized what was wrong.
"Lisa? I think you accidentally glued your recipe card to Iona's card," I said, peeling the two apart. "Iona? Here's your missing recipe."
Detweiler winked at me. "Good work."
To my horror, Lisa started crying. "This is all your fault, Iona. I did it for your daughter-in-law Bethany. She and I have been friends for years. Why couldn't you do the decent thing and share your recipe with her? Your son Mason is leaving Texas and going off to Afghanistan. All Bethany wanted was to make him one of his mother's famous red velvet cakes before he goes. But would you share the recipe with her? No. You're mean!"
All my scrapbookers turned on Iona.
"Is that true?" asked Avery. "You wouldn't let your own daughter-in-law have a copy of your recipe?"
Iona sniffed. "It's for the women in my family only!"
"Iona!" said one of the other scrapbookers. "How could you?"
A fat tear dripped down the woman's cheek. "Now that I see how all of you feel, I realize…I was wrong. That silly recipe doesn't matter that much, does it?"
We looked at her and shook our heads no.
"Kiki? Would you make copies of it for everybody?" Iona shoved the card into my hand.
"I'll be glad to."
"Since she's in such a generous mood, see if you can bring a couple of slices home with you tonight. I'm thinking I'd like to sit down with my wife after dinner and have a dessert," said Detweiler, and then he kissed my neck and added, "or two."


~ The End ~

Although Ilona didn't want to share her Red Velvet Cake Recipe, I was fortunate that three of my readers shared these yummy concoctions. Many thanks to all three!
Joanna

**


Carrie Wolfgang’s (Iona’s) Red Velvet Cake Recipe

Cake Ingredients:
1 ½ C. Sugar
2 C. Cooking oil
2 Eggs
1 Tsp. Vinegar
2 Oz. Red Food Coloring
2 ½ C. Flour
1 Tsp. Baking soda
1 Tsp. Salt
3 T. Cocoa
1 C. Buttermilk
2 Tsp. Vanilla

Directions:

1.     Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and lightly flour two 9 inch layer pans.
2.     Cream together sugar and oil.
3.     Add eggs and beat well. Add vinegar and food coloring. Beat well.
4.     Sift flour, soda, salt and cocoa together.
5.     Add flour/soda/salt/cocoa mixture to sugar/oil/egg/vinegar/food coloring, alternating with buttermilk and stirring well after each addition.
6.     Add vanilla and beat well.
7.     Pour into greased and floured pans. Bake for 30-35 minutes. Cool completely before frosting.

Frosting Ingredients:

1 Stick of Butter (room temperature)
8 Oz. Cream Cheese (room temperature)
2 Tsp. Vanilla
1 Lb. Sifted Powdered Sugar
1 C. Chopped Walnuts

Directions:

1.     Cream butter and cream cheese together.
2.     Add vanilla and powdered sugar. Mix well.
3.     Stir in nuts and spread on cake layers.

Special thanks to Carrie Wolfgang of Novel Destination-Used Book Emporium for sharing her recipe.

**


Fay Zerbolio’s Red Velvet Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

½ C. Margarine or butter
1 ½ C. White Sugar
1 Egg, beaten
4 T. Cocoa
1 Tsp. Red food coloring
2 T. Strong, hot coffee
2 C. Cake flour
1 Tsp. Salt
1 Tsp. Baking soda
1 C. Buttermilk
1 Tsp. Vanilla

Directions:

1.     Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch cake pans.
2.     Cream together butter and sugar. Add beaten egg. Combine cocoa, food coloring and coffee. Add to mixture and mix well.
3.     Sift soda, salt, and flour together. Add flour mixture and milk alternately to chocolate mixture. Add vanilla. Pour into pans and bake for 20-25 minutes.

Icing Ingredients:

3 Squares baking chocolate
3 T. Butter
5 T. Milk, scalded
2 C. Powdered sugar
¼ Tsp. Salt
1 Tsp. Vanilla
½ to 1 C. Chopped nuts

Directions:

Melt chocolate and butter together over low heat. Pour hot milk over sugar, stir to dissolve. Add salt, chocolate mixture and vanilla. Beat till thick. Add nuts. Frost cake.

Special thanks to Fay Zerbolio of the Miniature Museum of Greater St. Louis.  Visit them at http://miniaturemuseum.org/

**


Karan Flanscha’s $200 Cake (Red Velvet Cake)

Ingredients:

2-3 T. Powdered cocoa
1 oz. Bottle of red food coloring
½ C. Crisco
1 ½ C. White Sugar
2 Whole Eggs
2 ¼ C. Cake flour
1 Scant tsp. salt
1 C. Buttermilk
1 tsp. Vanilla
1 tsp. Vinegar
1 tsp. Baking soda

Directions:

1.     Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch baking pans.
2.     Mix cocoa powder with red food coloring. Refill food coloring bottle with water and add to cocoa/food coloring mix. Mix well.
3.     Cream Crisco and white sugar. Add 2 eggs and cocoa mixture. Mix well.
4.     Stir together three times: cake flour and salt.
5.     Using mixer on low speed, add dry ingredients alternately with buttermilk to cocoa mixture. Add vanilla.
6.     Fold in by hand: vinegar and baking soda. Mix well. Pour into pans.
7.     Bake for about 30 minutes.
8.      
Icing ingredients:

1.     White frosting from a can
2.     ½ Tsp. Peppermint flavoring

Directions:


Mix frosting and flavoring. Ice the cooled cake layers.


**