Happy Valentine's Day! (I'm Feeling the Love!)

Hi Joanna,   I just wanted you to know that I was so excited to find out my copy of Shotgun, Wedding, Bells was waiting for me on my kindle when I went to bed. I had to read "just a little bit." I am now starting chapter 45 and forcing myself to stop reading (it is after 1am) but man oh man that is a tough thing to do! The book is WONDERFUL! It is by far your best Kiki story ever! I know it is full of tragic circumstances, but I am totally spellbound and feel like I am in the room with Kiki. You ROCK Joanna! Fantastic job. I will have to wait to finish it in the morning, but I couldn't wait to tell you how great it is and thank you for writing it. Big hug to you! Happy Valentine's day to a fantastic author and someone who feels like a friend. I can't wait to finish the book!   XOXO,   Barbara Hackel

 

Improve Your Sequencing To Improve Your Writing

This morning I heard a radio commercial about a pair of work gloves. The announcer explained that these were "more abrasion and tear resistant than leather."

I was left wondering, "Does he mean the surface of the gloves is abrasive?"

I doubt that. I suspect he meant that the surface of the gloves was "more resistant to tears and abrasion than leather." (And if he had added one word--"tougher"--the whole description would have made more sense: "tougher, more resistant to tears and abrasion than leather.")

Sequencing.  A tricky concept. One that I'm working to become more aware of. It's incredibly difficult because we aren't dealing with a right or a wrong. We're working in shades of gray here. But even a slight change of shading can make our meaning more clear. And that translates into a more enjoyable read for our audience.

Here are a few rules:

1. Put the longest portion or phrase last.

Instead of this:

"He bought the fancy can opener and the toaster."

Try this:

"He bought the toaster and the fancy can opener."

2. Share the summary first, the particulars last.

Instead of this:

"Gracie, my harlequin Great Dane, pushed past me so she could sniff at Detweiler. In a contest between me and the cop, I’d come in a distant second. My pup loves me, but I have no illusions." 

Try this:

"Gracie, my harlequin Great Dane, pushed past me so she could sniff at Detweiler. My pup loves me, but I have no illusions. In a contest between me and the cop, I'd come in a distant second." 
3. Double-check all actions for logical sequence. You may find duplication or confusing language.

Instead of this:

            “I’d be delighted to join you,” Laurel said, as she pulled up a chair to sit next to Mary Martha.

            “There’s an extra chair right here,” said Dolores, uncovering a seat that had previously been hidden by piles of scrapbook supplies.

Try this:

            “I’d be delighted to join you,” Laurel said, as she glanced around for a place to sit.

            “There’s an extra chair right here,” said Dolores, uncovering a seat that had previously been hidden by piles of scrapbook supplies.

4. Ground your reader in the place and time first.  Start with "where" and "when."

5. Keep adjectives or modifying phrases next to the words they modify.

Instead of this:

"A commercial that I heard on the radio this morning talked about a pair of gloves."

Try this:

"This morning I heard a radio commercial about a pair of gloves."


As I come up with more examples, I'll share them with you.

The Future of rhe Publishing Industry

Last night I did a signing at the Barnes & Noble Booksellers in Reston. I spoke to a lovely and enthusiastic crowd. We were seated near the children's book section. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a young lady, at most maybe eleven years old, watching me and listening in. Eventually she slipped into a seat in the second row, as her papa watched from his spot by the YA (Young Adult) books stack.

She seemed thoughtful, quiet, and the expression on her face told me she was obviously absorbing the entire scene as I held up pictures of the debutante ball that makes up part of the mystery in Photo, Snap, Shot.

This young lady wore a knee-length rust colored dress, with a ruffle on both sides of the buttons down the front of the bodice, and a sewn-on sash tied around the waist. Her hair was long, dark walnut brown, and it formed waves as it ran down her back. It had been pulled back very neatly with a rubber band.

In so many ways, she reminded me of myself at that age.

At the end of my presentation, she waited until most of the adults had their books signed. Then she brought up a book, and I asked if she would like it signed. (I never assume anyone wants my signature. That's a choice that's theirs to make. I would never be so presumptious.) When she nodded and spelled out her name, I signed the book with deliberation, taking the time to ask her if she liked to read and what she read. She said, "All sorts of things." I asked if she liked mysteries, and she nodded. I asked if she liked Nancy Drew.

No. She'd just read one of those, and no more, because "it creeped me out."

Her language was so vibrant, her words were so emotional and heartful, and her thought was so unexpected that I laughed out loud.

After I finished signing stock for the bookstore, my young fan came back again. Her face full of solemn expression. "What's your name?" she asked me.

I told her. She nodded and walked away. Heel-toe, heel-toe, heel-toe. Hands clasped behind her back.

I hope that she likes my book. I hope that she'll find something inside to encourage her to be a lifelong reader. I hope that if she wants to write, she'll remember that she once met an author...and that this particular author was kind and interested in her.

Because I was. Of all the people there last night, I cared most about that little girl.

She's the future of this industry.