Where Ideas Come From--Mole Removal 101

While I'm writing I pop up now and again to do household chores. This morning I was moving clothes from the washer to the dryer. First I had to pick off all the pieces of tissue that had partially dissolved in the wash and where stuck all over the pants and shirts.

Sigh. No matter how carefully I search every pocket, I still miss a tissue or two.

Ideas are like that. They pop up in the most unexpected places. They get all clingy and refuse to go away. After they go through the wash, they don't look much like they did originally, but you can still tell what they were. Sort of.

Over on Cozy First Mysteries, a yahoo group, the members are doing a "buddy read" of Cut, Crop & Die. I've been following the comments of Julesy (their leader), Angie, Shannon, Shala, Mare, Vicki, Katie, Shauna, Mary C, and Melissa (did I miss anyone?) with much interest. (Oh, and the yahoo group owner is Beverly.)

Here's how it works: Julesy and Angie(as co-leaders) would post a short synopsis of chunks of the book as they read it. Then the leaders would solicit opinions from the others. It's almost like someone is doing a transcript of a real-time book group. And I love it. Seeing how readers react about my choices is incredibly enlightening. I'm improving my craft by taking note of their responses. And did I mention it's good for the ego? Oh, yeah. On days when I can't get anything written, seeing these nice ladies' responses makes me want to work doubly hard to create books worthy of them.

Of course, sometimes they don't like what I've written. That's okay, too. It's a great learning experience, and usually they have good suggestions. (In fact, one was so good, I wished I'd had it BEFORE the books were printed, but...)

Recently, they read the portion of Cut, Crop & Die where Kiki goes to the spa. Julesy said she was laughing so hard she could barely type her synopsis. My heart soared with joy. Someday, if I'm a really good kid, maybe I'll get nominated for an award for humorous writing. I'd love that because I totally ascribe to Minnie Pearl's comment that laughter is God's hand on the shoulder of a weary world.

The group also wondered where I got the idea for chasing moles away with vibrators. Here's what I wrote:

My husband was doing a “Sheila” about the moles in our yard. As I am wont to do, I started chatting with the pest specialist we hired. (I like to ask people questions about their work. He was initially very quiet, but once he discovered I was really curious, he opened up. I thanked him in the book. His name was Scott.) Then I went online. To my shock, I discovered some online place selling vibrators to get rid of moles. I wondered, “Do the vibrators just make the moles so crazy-happy they stay in their beds all day? What’s the deal here?” A short time afterwards, we were coming home from the airport in St. Louis and drove past all the adult sex toy shops on Lindbergh Ave. I guess every big town has such places. Usually they’re close to where lonely travelers might be.

I put two and two together. I mean, really, does a mole care what the shape of the vibrator is?

Remind me to post the photo of my freeze dried mole someday. I used to travel around the country giving humorous speeches, and that mole was a real highlight. I can't count the number of times I've had my picture taken with him. And no, as far as I know, he's never had a close encounter with a vibrator.

But then you never know, do you?

Taking Criticism (Kate, Are You There?)

I never, ever wanted to watch Dancing with the Stars (DWTS), but now I'm hooked. My reason for not wanting to be a viewer is simple: I love to dance. Therefore, watching other people having a good time is like...torture. I spend every minute wishing I was dancing along!(Check out the dancing scene in Cut, Crop & Die. I had to tone it down some, but that's me, bay-bee.)

Lately, I've been watching DWTS and thinking about criticism. It's always hard to take, isn't it? But I've noticed that the stars and participants who can't take it are usually the ones who don't make it to the final round. Makes sense.

Now I'm going to get snarky. Can you believe the way Kate Gosselin is acting? I shudder when I see people roll their eyes at the panel of dance experts. I mean, I don't care how snippy Bruno gets or how tough Len is. They do know what they're talking about.

But Bruno and Len and Carrie Ann are just part of the crew. The hardest working folks in the show, in my humble opinion, are the professional dancers. I mean, dancers have the lifespan of a gnat. It's just so incredibly hard on your body. These kids turn up, step up, and dance it up every week. So, spouting off to a dancing pro and telling him he doesn't know how to teach is just wrong. But that's exactly what Kate did. In the UK, they call that "cheeky." To be that rude, takes...well...it takes something. If Kate's goal is to show her kids how to act, gee, I hope the show airs after their bedtime. Especially if reports are true that she's also being a real pill by showing up late on the show. Whoa-doggies. Personally, I'm getting a bit weary of hearing Kate pull the "I'm just a mom trying to survive" card. I see a lot of moms trying to survive, and golly, their lives don't look at all like Kate's.

It's tough to take criticism. I know. I stomp around the house after it comes my way. But notice, that's my house. We don't have cameras rolling here.

Right now I'm working on a new idea. I keep showing it to my husband. He keeps telling me how I can improve it. I HATE his help. Hate it. But he's usually right and I remind myself that if I can put my ego aside and listen, my work and I will both be better for it.

Here's the deal: If you're going to live a public life, you better grow tough skin and a poker face. At the very least, keep your mouth shut when people give you good advice. Oh, and if you want proof that sneering is not a good idea, here's a tip--anytime you can put "sneering" and "your name" together and get google hits, honey, it's time to clean up your act. Even if Bruno did just compare you to a shopping cart!

Besides, didn't anyone ever tell Kate her face could freeze that way?

What's New in My Life?

It's certainly been a year to remember. In May, Paper, Scissors, Death was nominated for an Agatha Award for Best First Novel. The list of novelists over the years who have been nominated include Mary Higgins Clarke, Jan Burke, and Janet Evanovich. I mean, really, how could you be in better company?

Cut, Crop & Die was released in June 2009, but the release was quickly overshadowed by word that my mother had terminal cancer.

My mom died in July. She was in a coma for eight days, but my sisters and I were there to care for her. I've never admired anyone as much as I admire Jane and Margaret. Our dear Aunt Shirley was with us, and Mom, until the end, too. It was a horrible time, and our friend at hospice Sally Lippert said she's seen thousands of deaths, but that Mom's suffering was unique. The morphine didn't help her pain. Afterwards, we learned that was probably because liquid morphine is absorbed through the saliva glands, and Mom's had been compromised by radiation when she had cancer of the larynx. Who knew? I thank God for hospice, and I highly recommend the service to you.

In August, we moved our son to college for his sophomore year. I signed a contract for Books #3 and #4 in the Kiki Lowenstein Mystery Series. Number 3 will be called Photo, Snap, Shot and the release date is May 1, 2010. I'm at 66,000 words of an 85,000 word Book #4. I'm calling it Make & Take, Murder, but that's always subject to change by the publisher! I'm still futzing around with the punctuation on it. Tell me. Do you like "Make & Take, Murder" or "Make, Take, Murder" or "Make and Take Murder" best?

Paper, Scissors, Death and Cut, Crop & Die are both out in large print versions and Paper, Scissors, Death is now available on Kindle.

On September 1, we moved to the metro Washington DC area so my husband David could become the official Steinway piano dealer for DC and surrounds.

Later in September, the house we built, the one where we raised our son, sold. I know it's a blessing to sell a house in this economy. We had great help. Kristi and her son J.T. Monschien made it happen. They were super. But sometimes I still miss my old home and my neighbors Kathy and John.

Last month I signed with a new agent. That's exciting. In today's market, I think it's important to have someone who is in New York most of the time. The publishing world is at a cross-roads, and every choice is difficult. Having a representative who rubs elbows with editors all the time is a huge advantage.

I've been offered the chance to write Book #5 in the Kiki Lowenstein series. I love Kiki. Her world is an escape for me. Tell me...what would you like to see in an upcoming Kiki book? You know I really do listen to you. Some of the stray comments I've heard at signings come back to me as I write. Knowing what you like helps me make better decisions!

David's new job is opening all sorts of doors for us. We were privileged to attend the National Christmas Tree Lighting (that's the photo above) and the Opening Gala for the National Symphony Orchestra. Stay tuned! I'll try to share all the excitement with you!

So now it's nearly Christmas. It's going to be a difficult one for my family. My sister Margaret came up with a crackerjack idea. We're going to Disney World for Christmas. It was a bit unexpected, but you know, it is the happiest place on earth. And anywhere my family is...well...that's a very good place to be.

May God Bless and Keep All of You and Yours in the Coming Year.

Queenie D's Review of Cut, Crop & Die

It's not often you get reviewed by royalty. Queenie D gives her take on Cut, Crop & Die here http://www.book-club-queen.com/cut.html

Here's an interview we did together: http://www.book-club-queen.com/cut.html

I must admit, I shared a lot more about my characters with Queenie than I have in the past. I'm curious to hear what my fans think about my future plans.

After we corresponded by email, I learned she and I are almost neighbors! So I'm planning to visit with her and her friends at the "In the Streets" celebration in Frederick MD on September 26. Stay tuned for details.

On Thursday at 8 a.m. EST, check out the forum at http://www.spottedcanary.com/ I'll be announcing details of a new contest where the winner gets to name a character in Book #4 of the Kiki Lowenstein Scrap-n-Craft Mystery series.

I'm heading out this Thursday for Scrapfest at Mall of America, Minneapolis. I'll be signing up at the Archivers store on Thursday, Sept. 18, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m, on Friday, Sept. 19, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m, and on Sunday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. I'll also be stopping in at Scrapbooks Too for the evening crop Saturday night, as well as dropping by Uncle Edgar's to sign books. For details, visit http://www.booktour.com/ and put in my name.

Meanwhile, I'll try to get my Fall 2009 newsletter out to all of you. Be sure to sign up at my website http://www.joannaslan.com/Have a great fall!

70 Library Holds on Cut, Crop & Die

That's me and Marsha Ramey, from Sachs Library here in Chesterfield. Marsha was kind enough to set up a meeting with her book club, a lovely group of ladies.

Here's an email from an attendee:

> Joanna,
> Thank you for your lively and informative talk with all of us at
> Sach's Library on Wednesday,the 15th of July.
> It was so interesting to hear about the publishing industry and your
> own personal experiences as an author.
> And what fun your Kiki books are! I am patiently waiting for the Cut,
> Crop and Die which is on hold at the library- I am 40 of 70 holds!!
> Thank you again and I wish you and your family all the best in your
> new adventure to Washington, DC.
> You will love it there, too.
> Nancy Stratte

I wish there were more copies of my book, but...

An author friend told me, "Joanna, you don't WANT them to have a lot of copies. That way people will be forced to buy them."

Maybe.

But I see it a bit differently. The more people who get "hooked" on my series, the better the sales of each successive book will become. And that's my focus...future sales and fans.

Tools for Overcoming Writer's Block

Last night I posted 15 essays on writing at www.youpublish.com/joannaslan

These were originally monthly columns for an online magazine called "Graceful Bee," but I'm now making them available for a short time for anyone who needs a gentle boost to get writing.

Although written for scrapbookers, the ideas and concepts could inspire any writer. Often, when I'm working on a book, I dig through my personal bag of experiences to find raw materials. I then take a situation that I observed or participated in and RESHAPE that situation as a scene in my books.

For example, in Cut, Crop & Die, Kiki Lowenstein has a nearly disasterous visit to a spa. She's covered with a mud paste, wrapped in plastic, and left for the goo to do its work. As she lies there on a table, newly cut grass from an open window drifts in and sets off an allergic reaction. But, because she's wrapped tighter than an Egyptian mummy, Kiki can't move. She can't get up and close the window. In fact, the more she wriggles, the more she slides on the table. Eventually she's headed for scooting off the table and out the open window.

It happened to me.

I kid you not.

I was at the Heartland Spa in Illinois. I'd been "exfoliated" by a woman who must have had a second career polishing furniture. I was slathered in a mud skin product. The woman left me there to complete the skin treatment, and outside a man started mowing the lawn. I cried for help but no one came. I started a slow slide--the table was slanted with my feet lower than my head--and I was aiming for that open window.

I won't tell you how the situation resolved itself, but I will reiterate my point: recycle your life experiences. If you don't have enough of them, well, maybe you are too busy playing it safe to have a cool life!

Sales of Cut, Crop and Die to Benefit Homeless Great Danes

Once again, MAGDRL (the Mid-Atlantic Great Dane Rescue League) is teaming up with mystery author Joanna Campbell Slan for a special fundraiser.

Joanna's new mystery, "Cut, Crop & Die" features a rescue Harlequin Great Dane named Gracie and Joanna has agreed to donate 50% of the sales price to MAGDRL during this special promotion when you order your books through the link below. The book has received great reviews and, in addition to a Great Dane tie-in, it's about scrapbooking, so whether you love mysteries, scrapbooking, or Great Danes (or all three!), you'll enjoy the book. From now until 7 June, order a copy of the book through the link below and MAGDRL benefits. Joanna will personally sign special bookplates for the book(s) you order, making them a perfect keepsake for you, or for gift-giving. Your book will be shipped to you, with your signed bookplate (if you want one) the week of 15 June.

For more information, and to order your book(s), see this special page on the MAGDRL website. http://www.magdrl.org/bookFundraiser.htm

PLEASE REMEMBER -- When you order, put what you want as an inscription on the bookplate in the comments section of the order. If you don't want a personal inscription, you'll get a bookplate with Joanna's signature only.

What Reviewers Are Saying About CUT, CROP & DIE

Here's what will appear in the May 15 issue of Booklist: “Slan fulfills all the promise of her first novel (Paper, Scissors, Death, 2008) with this second entry in the Kiki Lowenstein scrapbooker series. Her writing is much more assured this time out, and the book is filled with characters who we care about.”

Kirkus Reviews said: "Kiki's second outing is a nicely crafted cozy full of amusing moments, real-life insecurities and scrapbooking tips."

My author copies came in the mail, and I can tell you this book is beautiful! (More beautiful "in person" than you can tell from this image!)

It Could be Raining...(My BIG Plotting Secret)

Celebrating my fun interview with Jean Henry-- http://tinyurl.com/d9mtss --and my dinner tonight with my pal Mary Buckham, who is doing a book plotting weekend here in The Lou, I have decided to post my BIG plotting secret.

Are you ready?

It can always get worse.

Yeah. See...that's how life goes and that's what can happen in a book. No matter how dark it is, no matter how horrible the situation, there's always a moment when you think, "Things can't get worse." Or in my family, we call it the "It could be raining" moment. We'll be in a crisis, and my dear husband David will look at me, and we'll say in tandem: "Could be worse. Could be raining." (And usually it is...so we both start to laugh."

We also like the "it went about as badly as anything could go barring loss of life and limb" phrase.

So if you are plotting (or plodding as it sometimes seems) along today, and if you are suffering from the dreaded "saggy middle" just pretend you are Lee Child, who is fabulous for creating situations where you think, "Jack Reacher will NEVER get out of this." Or Jeff Deaver who is the ultimate trickster, leading you to think "Okay, that character is su-unk." Or even those bright sparks who write "24," and give us fine moments where we're forced to admit "our entire way of life is DOOMED." That is, be a gloomy thinker. Decide what the worst is and let it rip.

Hint, hint: It doesn't have to be the WORST for your protag. It could be the WORST for someone your protag loves.

Tip: Ask yourself, "What would really upset the status quo."

And while I'm at it, I hope you don't read the Kirkus Reviews for Cut, Crop & Die (Book #2 in the Kiki Lowenstein Mystery Series which will be released in June). I hope you don't because although Kirkus called the book "a nicely crafted cozy full of amusing moments, real-life insecurities and scrapbooking tips," they also gave away a really bleak time in Kiki's life. (Why, oh, why did they have to post a spoiler?)